No Sleeves

And I am not one of them. While the masses were fighting a losing battle with contempt-fueled boredom, I enjoyed absurdist observations about racist cell phones, MTV dating-show morons and user-generated porn.

But I digress. This picture calls out for our attention:

There’s no way I can possibly outdue the subverted, insane genius of the Fug Girls here. Much like Pedro Feliz turning on an inside fastball, they smacked it right out of the park.

Let me add this caveat, on behalf of straight men everywhere: this woman is NOT attractive. Period. Please, ladies, say no to pale skin. And faces pulled tighter than a Janet Weiss drum. And especially not the quasi-alien deathstare that screams, I WILL FRY YOUR BRAINS LIKE BACON. TASTY, TASTY BACON.

Maybe she got a certificate to a tanning salon, in which case I’ll be generous and give her another shot in a month or so. Patience, people. It is a virtue.